Okay, so here's the upshot of today's earlier post: I had a right to feel angry, sad, bad, and depressed all those years; I was justified! I really WAS an 'odd duck'; I really was worthless; no wonder I had feelings of such low self-worth, they were true and justified! No! No! No! HEAR ME OUT! I am authentically unusual. I did NOT fit into society's norms...this is a TRUE statement. That I shouldn't feel that way is a LIE! Being different didn't make me a bad person. I felt real shame, of myself, because my behavior could NOT be seperated from who I was. I was actually 'being' who I was; I couldn't and wouldn't change. Society DIDN"T need me, it's true...I did not fit their form. They were looking for one thing, I was another. The problem was that I felt 'bad' because I couldn't be something I was not! My Inner Strenght would not let me conform to being something I wasn't. I was a 'commercial grade dedicated-circuit-locking-hub 220 volt plug, trying to fit into a standard residential ungrounded 110 volt outlet...it doesn't fit in! It ain't gonna happen! Give it up! I know these things. So now I can accept that I am different, and not TRY to be something else. I've just been trying to fit in in the 'wrong' places, at the 'wrong' time with the 'wrong' abilities...for what was needed; that's all. It was a MISTAKE! But a mistake just the same. The lesson? "Don't do dat any mo'"  I feel much better now, but as I told 'sadave46', my feelings seem to change randomly. At least this information may raise my average feeling way above awareness and depression! Later Dudes (and Dudettes),Thanks for your kind attention...you may now resume your other duties (and please forgive any typo's, my computer suffers from dyslexia). Richard