Well, I'm heading back down to the "San Rafael de la Particion" Ranch again tomorrow with Berk and Mario, for one last time. We'll leave at 5 am, or so, and do a full days work. I need to get back in time (it's 4 hrs. down there & 4 hrs. back just driving) to meet with my Artist Cluster in Boerne. The troubling thing, or should I say the thought that I choose to believe may be troubling in the near future (Thank you, mgs1) is that's going to be the end of any income from this job; it is done. The codependent connection here, is why I am trying to change careers. I will make a leap of analysis here and suggest that with my new knowledge, a construction career is exactly what I DON"T need as a codependent person, unless that's just an avoidance problem. What makes my body avoid continuing in that career is that it forments an addictive response (if understand this concept correctly). What I do is build things for people who think/feel that this is what they want, unfortunately, it doesn't exist until we get finished building what started out as a dream that they projected would bring them happiness. This is a setup, and a dangerous one. People change their minds, and their feelings. As work progresses, they may or may not like what they're getting, compared to what they "imagined" in their mind. They may not be satisfied, with the reality of how things are really built by real workers compared to what the architect pictured; or they may be unhappy with the costs that escalate with every new "toy" they want added that they again believe will bring them even more happiness. So once you start, the rewards may not be there in the end, and all that work and changed feelings may remove any 'stroking' you might expect for a job well done under very difficult conditions. All that time wasted trying to do well, and it's just not good enough; or financially, they want to renogotiate the money, i.e. not pay you. Without a "quid-pro-quo" direct connection between action and reward, the random reward system is the perfect tool to cause someone to develope an addictive behavior cycle. You do the same thing over and over, and sometimes you get a reward, sometimes you don't; but you are willing to try again with the off-chance you'll be rewarded. This is the scheme gamblers use to become addicted to gambling...the random reward thrill. I feel like I need something else. What? I don't know yet; my intuition hasn't told me exactly yet, but it's coming, I feel it. Anyway, I've some other things to do.
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It\'s a bill of goods that our society seems to be trying to sell everywhere we turn. That the more stuff we buy and the more things we get out way, the happier we will be.
In the end happiness has nothing to do with the new car, the new clothes, the computer toys, or the new custom built house or addition.
My own parents have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and gone further into debt in order to add on to their house and modernize it, even though the house was perfectly adaquate for them before.
They were happy about it for a month and now they are off talking about what else needs to be done to the house and what other things they \"need\".
And of course they nit pick every little thing that they think the contractors didn\'t do exactly right.