What a hellish time! Becky and I got into it last night, and we rerarely talk, especially about me and my feelings. I finally had to calm her down at one point by telling her that this was NOT a competition for who has suffered the most: me, living all these years with 'my problem', or her, living with me and watching me with 'my problem'. This is news to her, my acceptance that codependency has been my lifelong problem; it's new to me too! "Hoops" post under "dumb question" may help alot. It's the most simple description of what codependency is, and what to look for in my thoughts and behaviors that I need to watch out for and change. Here is a copy of her post:"Codependency is when a person has a strong desire to control people around them, including their spouse, children, or co-workers. Codependents believe they are somehow more capable than others, who need their direction or suggestions to fulfill tasks they are responsible to complete. They feel compassion for people who may be hurting and feel they should be the one to help them. Codependent people give their time, emotions, finances, and resources. They have a difficult time saying "NO!" to any request made of them.The biggest issues that arise from codependency is that codependents expect their behavior to have "value" or be appreciated. They measure their self-worth by how much they feel valued."Also, I'm waffling on going for my Masters Degree. After reading more posts last night I wonder if I can work with people and their problems instead of things. Teaching still sounds good, because it deals with ideas (which are things) and not as emotional as dealing with people themselves and their problems. Teaching is about tools, education. It's not about control. Control is a BIG issue for codependents, maybe the biggest.