Since I've developed the habit of "morning pages" again, some good things have come up. Tracking down the career problem is still the problem. How all this will work out in the future is a stressful question. Trying to 'contribute' without codependent thinking, with a new set of behavior tools to remember to use, is a big deal. But, I've got nothing else to do today but to find out more. I am still looking for that 'one' block that'll loosen the dam to break if, in fact, there is just 'one' lynch pin to remove. I think the idea that I do not believe that I can control my own rewards is a good avenue to investigate.