Well, I joined a whole new group today! The ADD thing was an error, and now I'm back to where I was in 1995. Some progress just from reading. Now I understand that the real enemy is my ego, who is codependent and taking me with him. This will stop as I gain more insight into how to dismantle the fundamental habits that are affecting me and my feelings, and learning how to control my over-sensitivity to my environment. Education is the key for me, I'll continue to reread all my books until I get a clearer picture of this awful system that I inherited or grew into. More history work, but the understanding of how insideous this disease is has certainly explained a lot of my past failings. Whew! Now to go on the offensive and root the reactivity out of unconsciousness to consciousness. Learn to take care of myself, admit my true feelings, and move ahead to recovery.