I have stopped seeing the psychiatrist after the last med he wanted to give me. Seroquel. I don't think so. It is probably a very good medication for some but it isn't for me. Even though I had repeatedly told him that his depression questionnaire didn't work for me he had me fill it out every time. I told him I can go from positive and happy to wishing I was dead all within a few hours. The questionnaire he hands out it useless.
Tdoc is keeping an eye out for pdocs taking new patients. I should start searching again. Maybe not though. I don't know what to do. I am not against medications and I think maybe some of the SSRIs may have worked but I couldn't tolerate the side effects.
At my last appointment he asked how I felt about the diagnosis of bi polar 2 that he gave me. I said it didn't feel right to me. He said, "It seems more like anxiety and depression" Then he talks me into trying seroquel. I already have a weight and blood pressure problem, I don't have much energy and I may have developed diabetes by now ( I will know the end of May...have a physical). Without medication I manage to work full time in a fairly stressful job. It's not easy and some days aren't pretty but I get through it. I am functioning and for me I'm not sure that the benefits of seroquel outweigh the risks. I did try it one night. Tiny dose. Knocked me on my ass for 9 hours. The next day I was all restless and couldn't really focus.
Last night I had a panic attack just as I was drifting off to sleep so tonight it is tempting to take a seroquel but I will probably regret it.
Earlier I realized I was ready to die. Not that I was going to expedite it but just that if death came knocking I would let her in. It was a strange feeling. Usually if I am wishing death on myself there is quite a bit of emotion behind it. This time it was more of a quiet, sad, tired feeling.