My journey
I have been wandering in a sort of "blur" since some of my children rejected me on account of the matter over my little granddaughter.
I thought I had made NO progress but this morning (AFTER prayer and putting Jesus FIRST always now and TBN instead of the News - I am learning!) I came to the realization that yes! There HAS been progress...
I no longer walk past Ollie's house feeling how blessed he is to be leaving this world shortly (he has pancreatic cancer - a neighbor). I no longer wish for death to take me. I get up in the morning and actually get dressed. There are still times when I feel like staying in my PJs and not doing my hair or make up I admit. But by and large I am getting there. I am starting to take care of myself slowly again.
Today must be the first day in many days that I greeted the dawn. Every other day since this time I have woken up and thought oh not another day and how will I get through it and then when night falls I think oh no, night time again...everything was completely unbearable.
Someone on this support group said it will happen with baby steps. Perhaps then I am starting to walk a little - taking some steps.
I keep my hands busy all the time and watch TV to get my mind off things. I cannot concentrate to read yet. This may still follow...
I now know that I am not alone and that others are with me in this dire situation not of our own doing and now I have friends going through the same pain that I can pray for. I am more than thankful that somehow God brought me to this spot and this website.
My longing for things to revert to normal remains.
I thought I had made NO progress but this morning (AFTER prayer and putting Jesus FIRST always now and TBN instead of the News - I am learning!) I came to the realization that yes! There HAS been progress...
I no longer walk past Ollie's house feeling how blessed he is to be leaving this world shortly (he has pancreatic cancer - a neighbor). I no longer wish for death to take me. I get up in the morning and actually get dressed. There are still times when I feel like staying in my PJs and not doing my hair or make up I admit. But by and large I am getting there. I am starting to take care of myself slowly again.
Today must be the first day in many days that I greeted the dawn. Every other day since this time I have woken up and thought oh not another day and how will I get through it and then when night falls I think oh no, night time again...everything was completely unbearable.
Someone on this support group said it will happen with baby steps. Perhaps then I am starting to walk a little - taking some steps.
I keep my hands busy all the time and watch TV to get my mind off things. I cannot concentrate to read yet. This may still follow...
I now know that I am not alone and that others are with me in this dire situation not of our own doing and now I have friends going through the same pain that I can pray for. I am more than thankful that somehow God brought me to this spot and this website.
My longing for things to revert to normal remains.
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