still here
I have been busy with legal issues dealing with my house and the extra properties. I have had some support from my family and friends. I just feel kind of out of it when it comes to dealing with legal talk.
As far as my health goes I have lost weight I started out at 240 and I am down to 203. It still takes everything I have to get out of bed in the morning.
Today, I talked to one of my friends and she asked me questions about Martin. So I explained it to her and just started crying again.
Dearest Martin,
You left me in April 2013 and here it is November 2013 I am a wreck with out you. You were my entire world, when I needed you you were there for me when I had was recovering from my cancer you were there for me. When ever I got scared I would run into your arms for safety. I just feel alone here without you being here. Why did you have to be so damn stubborn?? I love you and miss you so much. At night I get these horrible pains in my stomach and in my back. I know I am depressed because I don't have my love with me. I know I have to stay on this earth to take care of our animals. I am sad because you are not here with me. As far as me ever becoming happy it is not going to happen in less you are with me. I tell others I am happy so they don't worry about me.
I love you and miss you so much,
Karen
As far as my health goes I have lost weight I started out at 240 and I am down to 203. It still takes everything I have to get out of bed in the morning.
Today, I talked to one of my friends and she asked me questions about Martin. So I explained it to her and just started crying again.
Dearest Martin,
You left me in April 2013 and here it is November 2013 I am a wreck with out you. You were my entire world, when I needed you you were there for me when I had was recovering from my cancer you were there for me. When ever I got scared I would run into your arms for safety. I just feel alone here without you being here. Why did you have to be so damn stubborn?? I love you and miss you so much. At night I get these horrible pains in my stomach and in my back. I know I am depressed because I don't have my love with me. I know I have to stay on this earth to take care of our animals. I am sad because you are not here with me. As far as me ever becoming happy it is not going to happen in less you are with me. I tell others I am happy so they don't worry about me.
I love you and miss you so much,
Karen
Replies
I found your letter to Martin so touching. I totally understand the struggle to get out of bed and pretending to be happy so others dont worry. As far as happiness in the future all we can do is live one day at a time to the best of our abilities. Wishing you more good days as time moves forward. Gerald
Thank you for the kind words. Most women my age are still happy dressing up and going out at night. I am happy staying at home and just being with my animals. Ever since my husband passed away I have been home every night just watching tv or reading a book on the weekends I got lost in a tv series called Highlander or I do certain chores around the house. Not interested in dating could not bear to watch someone else pass away.