not a good day

have not been feeling good feels like my whole body hurts. I wonder why am I still here. I miss my Martin so much! I think what made me start crying again was fathers day. Then Martin's daughter said her dad came to her and told her she is to deliver a message that he is sorry and he is at peace and misses me very much. I was doing fine in tell fathers day and her text. I know I should not listen to her this time she hit below the belt. I do not get along well with my stepdaughter. I am here to raise our animals that is all I know. Not doing well!