memorial day is near.... I hate to look forward to it. I'll bring Levi a plant oir some potted flowers this time.His resting spot is admittedly over decorated, yes, still. I have my nights and I use them to put together flowers for him or a wreath, sometimes I can still allow myself to obsess over something for him, even if he can't touch my present.I think about him endlessly though my days fly by. His death will always seem unfair and ridiculous and surreal I imagine. I hate death and sorrow. Heaven will be wonderful because it won't allow either near. Our tears will be dried and our heartache will find end. How I miss him.Zachary is so fat and sweet and soft. Lacey is almost two and naughty, so naughty but so smart and unbelievably beautiful. Taylor is growing into a young man and is handsome and clever and such a good big brother....I am blessed though I mourn my child that has left.I hope everyone smiled at least once today. There's always tomorow as long as we live. That's too simply put, but still true. There is no giving up, we all have work to do in some way or many ways. I'm starting to look forward to the atsks that are left to me.