I just wrote to a friend here and I discovered that we are on the same track... with so much going on as it is and us expecting, I have so little time to write anymore. And, in truth, in the begining, i needed to find DS, i was so alone and scared with my grief...sometimes I still am. Levi is a part of my soul, nothing can ever change that. But, there is only so much writing and talking can do and then it it all becomes part of this cycle. My panick attacks are being instigated by my constant urge to talk about my issues. I'm such a deep person which adds to the effects. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I feel that I need some time and space to start my next journey without living in my past. The past is apart of me, that's unchangable, but I'm moving my trailor so to speak.
Everyone on here has taught me something and has been so unselfish with their love and support when I was ure that this world could care less that my baby died and left me, only a shell of the woman that I once was. I still mourn for him and ache for him but I know that this is our fate, fair or not. Wrapping myself up in my guilt and shame as a failure will never bring him back nor will hating this world for all of it's inadequesies and coldness. My levi is held above the angels and is embraced by the Lord. I will meet him soon enough.
My ex husband is not worth the fear that has taken hold of me, God will give me strength and victory.
Repeating my fears on paper or online only give them power. They've broken me dowm for far too long, my fears. Fear is from the devil, that's the truth however dramatic it may sound. I'm sick of the devil and his foolish relentless distruction.
Thank you all for bringing me your hugs and sincerity. I have needed it .
To my Paula, we were meant to meet, maybe we will meet again?!lol.
And, to Kim, I will check on you, i won't break my promise.
God truly bless my other dear sweet freinds.
I will keep in touch here and there. I'll post my new baby's pic asap. I do have love for all of you and i wish, truly wish that you all will overcome your mountains.
Everyone on here has taught me something and has been so unselfish with their love and support when I was ure that this world could care less that my baby died and left me, only a shell of the woman that I once was. I still mourn for him and ache for him but I know that this is our fate, fair or not. Wrapping myself up in my guilt and shame as a failure will never bring him back nor will hating this world for all of it's inadequesies and coldness. My levi is held above the angels and is embraced by the Lord. I will meet him soon enough.
My ex husband is not worth the fear that has taken hold of me, God will give me strength and victory.
Repeating my fears on paper or online only give them power. They've broken me dowm for far too long, my fears. Fear is from the devil, that's the truth however dramatic it may sound. I'm sick of the devil and his foolish relentless distruction.
Thank you all for bringing me your hugs and sincerity. I have needed it .
To my Paula, we were meant to meet, maybe we will meet again?!lol.
And, to Kim, I will check on you, i won't break my promise.
God truly bless my other dear sweet freinds.
I will keep in touch here and there. I'll post my new baby's pic asap. I do have love for all of you and i wish, truly wish that you all will overcome your mountains.
Replies
You arent leaving us are you? I have learned so much through our friendship. You are wise beyond your years. Id hate to lose our frindship. I really look fwd to reading your posts and getting your strong supportive support on things. I would miss u terribly!!!! Nichole
Good luck on your new journey. I agree with you. Levi is happy and will be waiting for you when you get there but in the meantime, you have some living to do. Keep us posted and looking forward to seeing the new baby pics. Lots of hugs, Jake\'s mom, Kathy
Yes, you do need to move your trailor. You need to move on and look to the future. Remember the past but don\'t dwell on it or move your trailor there for a vacation in hell.
About the panic attacks, have you tried prayer? I used to have the same kind of feelings in the night and I would lie there and ask God for peace. Take deep breaths and let the Lord calm my unknown fears. Sometimes a person doesn\'t know what they are afraid of but the Holy Spirit does. God can and will give you a peace that passes all understanding. Just ask.
God bless you and may you find peace soon. Let us know, once in a while, tht you are well. Barbara/EvansMom
hey friend...yes, please keep in touch, i will miss u so much while im gone...but, thank u so much for everything you\'ve done for me, i aprreciate it very much...ur friendship has helped me get through alot...please take care of yourself and know that i love u, and will be thinking of u while im away...
p.s, if ur not in the hospitol right now....good luck with the baby...!!...
I agree with you, if you feel it\'s time to move forward I\'m happy for you. I too am reaching that point. I have ejoyed meeting you here on DS and I think you are a very special person. Please keep in touch though, I\'d love to see pictures of your new little baby. Lots of love and ((hugs)) to you and your family, God bless.