I wonder if the problems ever stop. Besides Levi being gone, there have been so many other things to face for me and my family. I'm taking my ex husband to court to extinguish his parental rights with my oldest son. My ex is a true nightmare, a criminal that most people only see on TV. I'm not emotionally out of control but i am sure that this is going to wipe me out. Everyone expects so much from me. I'm almost out of the fire that's kept me going for so long. losing Levi sucked most of that fire out. Now, i have this small, weak, dwindling flame gasping to stay lit. i miss my baby and I only want to keep my other children safe. I want peace, I want reprieve, I'm only human. But, I'm not ready to give up, no, that's never been me. I just don't know how much more i can handle. my plate has been well over full for way too long.
I am glad for the fact that one day, it will all be over. What's not finished here will not matter because old age will catch up to me and i'll get to be with levi again and my family will follow. there won't be sadness or fear or tragedy, just peace.