Today is a tired day. Between family and preganany I am just wore out. Emotionally, I am fragile. I feel my spirit strengthening though, it seems when my heart is truly weak, my spirit grows.
I haven't visited Levi's spot for a couple of weeks, I hope that i'll go this weekend. I just leave there wanting him back so much more. I hate that his beutiful body is there and still my arms are so empty for him. He is my sunshine. i wonder if my smile will ever be real again and i hope that I never move on to far from my memories. How i feel and the pictures and his belongings are all I have left. I need my emotions just as much, possibly more than the rest.
There must be a balance. I'll be sure to spread the news if I discover a balance in grief and living still. I just miss him. A pieice of us is absent.
I haven't visited Levi's spot for a couple of weeks, I hope that i'll go this weekend. I just leave there wanting him back so much more. I hate that his beutiful body is there and still my arms are so empty for him. He is my sunshine. i wonder if my smile will ever be real again and i hope that I never move on to far from my memories. How i feel and the pictures and his belongings are all I have left. I need my emotions just as much, possibly more than the rest.
There must be a balance. I'll be sure to spread the news if I discover a balance in grief and living still. I just miss him. A pieice of us is absent.
Replies
There are so many other things happening in our lives right now. I\'m wondering how much more I can take. My plate is so full. I miss my guy and i want to have the answers to fix it all. I use to find the answers so easily. Nothing can fix his death. I get that now. Nothing can fix the world either. I hate this helplessness i face, as a mother and as a person. I am waiting for direction from god. I am also waiting to feel his touch again. I know that I am fighting Him, but He has to know that I am also waiting for Him. i can\'t really pray, the words feel fake before they even leave my mouth. So, in my heart, I just wait.