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Well, here I am back home after a morning of fellowship and lunch. The more I hang out with people the more I don't want to. People really bug me right now, wonder why? I don't seem to have the desire to hang out with my friends at all..blahh! I have to go out again in 2 hours to a dinner at the church...blahhh! I felt good when I woke up this morning but as the day goes on I am feeling lower and lower and lower in my mood. I don't like where this is going. Why can't I just stay away from the basement???? Life doesn't have any purpose for me right now, I see notthing past this moment...blaaahh! Please tell me how to get out of this space I'm in! I feel so lost and alone. It takes all I have in me to stay away from tragedy, sometimes I wonder if it is worth the fight? I am really tired and worn out. Life is taking it's toll on me again today. I am sick of writing about how I feel, I feel like I am being negative, and I feel like I've been repeating myself, seems like I go through this storm lots. Please forgive me for being such a burden to you. I don't feel like I have anywhere to turn, or anywhere I want to turn, I come here to DS but I feel like a burden....blahhh! I don't know what to do or where to turn. For now I will play the role life has dished out for me. How much longer will I be able to pretend?? Thanks for caring and loving me. I love you too Ramona xoxoxoxoxoxoox *sigh*
Replies
its OK Ramona :)
We all need one another Ramona. We share a common bond and we all know these episodes well. You don\'t ever have to apologize .We battle our bp demons.There is no need for pretense, we completely comprehend your suffering. Please try to take it in stride.I know how hard it is to care about anything in the pit of despair, but it\'s just an episode, and it will pass. When you feel tired and worn out, you need to take a step back and see if you\'re not doing too much.Try to find some time in your day just for you. You are very high functioning, and you amaze me. You pull yourself up by your boot straps and manage to do for others all the time. You need to do the same for yourself. Acceptance of this disorder is paramount. We simply can\'t do everything. We need to set limits to stay healthy. Hold on, you\'ll get through this.xoxoxo
Ramona, this is what your friends are here for. DS is the place to come and share your burden. We understand your pain and want to hold you and love you and make it all better.
Just vent and say what\'s on your heart. It\'s the right thing to do. We hear you, God hears you...you are not alone.
I\'m praying for you now, Ramona...It\'s gonna get better!!!! Love you