Well, yesterday I did it and today I did it again only the opposite way!!!  I am having a gggggrrrrrrrr  day today!!!   I met a new family doc today..ha ha!   That was the beginning of a pointless day!   I wanted to tear his face off everytime he looked at me!    When I was at the drug store I  had an urge to throw my pill jars accross the room...I really had to control myself!    I am on so much meds I can't keep up with everything,  I am almost sick of it, but I know I can't give in cause the enemy is waiting right outside my door....aahhh!    I think I've fallen 10 steps backward just overnight, how the heck does this keep happening to me????!!!!   I have all those horrible dark thoughts eating at my brain, thank God I'm taking the Lithium at least it helps to slow my brain!   It is so tempting to give in to them...HELP!   I won't survive back in that basement of despair and hopelessness!!!!!