It has been a long night and morning.  Today I feel like I am being torn in two peices, one side is the good side and the other side is the evil side,  I am leaning more on the evil side right now....gggrrr!!!       How much damage does a body have to take with this disease anyway!!!  I feel broken!!!  I feel discouraged!!!  I feel helpless!!!  I feel all alone!!!...this is the worst feeling for me to deal with!!!     I am desperate to get out of here, this place I am in.    If I go home feeling like this I may be headed for the danger zone.  Just want to keep "me" back,  I found me now I lost me again.   Why does this keep happening to me????!!!!    Bipolar makes me very frustrated and confused!   I HATE IT!!!