Oh boy, I don't think I'm gonna go to bed anymore!   As soon as I get tucked in and lay my head to rest boom....my brain explodes into a million peices!   I am so very tired of crying myself to sleep.   I don't get it.   During the day I make it through, it's been challenging but I've made it through, then night comes and then off to bed and all these thoughts hit me, awful, negative, overwhelming, hopeless thoughts.....aaaahhhh!!   They won't stop.  I try everything I know and I am just cosumed in misery...bblllahhhhh!   I HATE THAT FEELING! I HATE THAT PLACE OF DARKNESS!   Why can't I just get out, I do it during the day, most of the time anyway.  Should I sleep with a light on maybe?  Is it the dark that has me so bound?   I am really ticked off that I can't control this ugly dark time of gloom that snatches my peace away, and just before I go to sleep, how dare it...I'm really ticked at this!   I don't want to feel hopeless when I have so much to live for.   It terrifies me that I want to end my life in such a miserable state of mind.  Where do these awful thoughts originate from anyway?  How'd they get inside my head when I just finished talking to God?  Will every night be like this?   I don't know if I can do this again?!   I hope and I pray that when I go to bed tonight that I fall asleep without any gloom entering in.   I'm off for the day, busy, busy.  Just wanted to vent while I was in the mood, and before I get to church.  oxoxoxoxo