Well, I made it to the green face again....!   My pdoc called the other day with my blood test results,  my levels have gone up so Lithium has officially passed the test of time!   My doc told me it is going to be a long process....geez, what does that mean I wonder?   I am staying at 900mg a day unti I have my next appt in 5wks.   Then who knows!    Before I had my last "crash" I was feeling pretty slowed down,  but since coming out of that "crash" I just can't seem to shake the "I lost my smile" thing.   I feel kinda flat you know.  Isn't good cause I deal with lots of people, who need lots of smiles.   I don't know if it's the higher dosage of Lithium or if it's just the scarring from having too many close encounters with the "deep dark pit" of despair?   Man, is it my age?  Is it my job?  Is it my friends?   That's all I seem to ask myself any more,  question after question after question.    My mind is foggy, I have TONS of paperwork to do but I've been sitting here for 6 hours and mostly staring at the papers, oh, I got some things done but I really need to get things together.  Ive lost it big time!   I just can't think ahead to plan anything.   Oh well, maybe things will get better from here.  The clouds in my mind will become clear and I will have the energy to do something?   I should get going.  Try to get some stuff done.  Thanks for listening.  Lots of Love XXXOOOOXXXXOOO