AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME!!!!

Well I went and spoke with the therapist last night about everything.  How I had been feeling, events at work, at home, inside my head .  We had a good heart to heart.  It was more hanging out it seemed than a head doctor you know.  She thinks I should get the FMLA my PDOC recommended and thought my boss was a jerk too. 

 I'm doing well today.  Which is nice.  I feel happy go lucky, kind of care free.  I've had couple of pangs of anxiety but I'm sure when I'm ready to up the dose again to what the PDOC thinks I will be fine.  I had lunch with my bff and told her all the stuff I've been going through and she was like "I had no idea".  After which I felt like I shouldn't have told her.  There is such a dichotomy between this created world that we work so hard to keep.  You know the "normal" world that doesn't exist.  I spend all day every day working as hard as I can to not stand out or do something "abnormal".  But for ME.... Things are NOT normal.  Things are overwhelmed by feelings and I'm almost never capable of reacting to the normal world but instead I'm forced to react to the swhirling vortex of emotion living between my 2 blue eyes.  So now I wonder what this information, what knowing it means to her.  You know that she is going to have her own interpretation of what I said.  Good thing is that I'm worried about it.  So I didn't say to much.  Used to be I'd just say whatever.  I'm not going to dwell on this anymore. 

This afternoon is our staff meeting which means it will be hard for me.  With all that has been going on here at work these meetings are so stressful for me.  So pray for me cause I'll need it.