Goodmorning right! So one of my coworkers approached me this morning to tell me she was upset with me because I told someone something she said. She did not say it in private but she is spinning it that I heard her wrong and so I apologized... I do that now I don't even care if I'm wrong. I just say I'm sorry. I hate this job! I love what I do but I hate the people that I work with!!!!!! I have my PDOC appointment today. I have a lot to talk about and I'm afraid that I'll miss something. I think these people charge way to much money for there 5 minutes that seem so rushed. I never feel like I have the time I need to get it all in. I also feel like the environment makes it hard to remember all of the stuff. And you know that they are always evaluating how you are reacting to things, watching for like signs of the illness... You know so I feel invaded and careful to say what I mean. I don't want them to think that I'm too bad, but I want them to know that I'm not well. It's just this horrible guessing game on both parties behalf. I hate it too!!!!!As far as how I'm feeling... I feel really unbalanced. Up and then down and really really agitated! One minute I'm extatic and the next i'm in the depths. I'm cuddly with the hubby and then furious because he's in my way in the kitchen. I play with my son and then demand he pick up his toys immediately. I'm just really unrealistic and irrational right now. The hardest part is accepting this because I don't want to be sick right now. I want to pretend everything is allright. It is not.I went shopping this weekend first time in 3 years since I declared bankruptcy. I had earned it in so many ways. I have worked hard to loose 30 pounds. I won 2k in the campaign contest at work. I haven't gone on a shopping spree in a long long long time... That counts a lot :-). So I went out and it was like God knew I needed new clothing. I started at Kohls and didn't find anything and then went to New York and Co. (awesome EXPENSIVE) and I found 4 pair of dress pants, 2 casual dress pants, 4 tops and a new little black dress (a must have for every woman). It should have cost over $550 and I spent $116 with tax.. unbelievable. Then I went shoe shopping at target and got 3 pair of gorgeous up to date shoes to go with my new outfits. And then the next day I got an expensive and gorgeous haircutt. (the woman took an hour and fifteen minutes which is unheard of for a hairstylest. She did an awesome job and I feel like a new woman. I mean really new not like a fat, exhausted working mother/wife, with bipolar! So that is a major thank you JESUS!