I;m fighting back tears again tonite. I feel very conflicted.
I wish that perhaps i wasnt who I am.
Right now i am this girl who is living two different lives. One girl is a straight girl who doesnt see the light at the end of the tunnel. The other is a lesbian who is stuck in the closest and also doesnt see the end of the tunnel.
With eithier males of females. Friends or more then friends. I am afraid of being rejected. So i figure why try. But I am so freaking lonely. It hurts.
I have some friends, but the friends I do have at times make me feel uncomfy. Like some are way to open. So when we go out they seem to take all the limelight. Which in a way is both good and bad I guess. But at times I feel like I can't speak. Like I am litterally afraid to speak. Scared that whatever I say will sound stupid or akward.
I just want to be loved. I read somewhere that in order to be loved, you have to love yourself. So i guess thats the first step.
Question remains. How can I love myself.............HOW!!!
I wish that perhaps i wasnt who I am.
Right now i am this girl who is living two different lives. One girl is a straight girl who doesnt see the light at the end of the tunnel. The other is a lesbian who is stuck in the closest and also doesnt see the end of the tunnel.
With eithier males of females. Friends or more then friends. I am afraid of being rejected. So i figure why try. But I am so freaking lonely. It hurts.
I have some friends, but the friends I do have at times make me feel uncomfy. Like some are way to open. So when we go out they seem to take all the limelight. Which in a way is both good and bad I guess. But at times I feel like I can't speak. Like I am litterally afraid to speak. Scared that whatever I say will sound stupid or akward.
I just want to be loved. I read somewhere that in order to be loved, you have to love yourself. So i guess thats the first step.
Question remains. How can I love myself.............HOW!!!
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