today

I don't know what to here, trapped und watcful eye. I can't go to the store or to my apartment for needed items. I'm staying with my order for me to get better at this point I don't know if it's or if I am now up to it. I feel dangerous alone at home I feel forgotten when I'm in my apartment  I feel very secluded with a suicide attempt of 25 pills of Valian,  ultimately I will need help from family matters I cannot do this alone but the overarching lots of my mother and my father is getting to me after just one week. I don't necessarily feel like talking to my father but I know that he wants to have a conversation with me. but the overarching lots of my mother and my father is getting to me after just one week. I don't necessarily feel like talking to my father but I know that he wants to have a conversation with me.Conversations with him or depressing and negative conversing with my mother on the other and the more positive focus it's more geared towards kids who I want to be is to me who I need to be. Conversations with him or depressing and negative conversing with my mother on the other and the more positive focus it's more geared towards kids who I want to be is to me who I need to be.  Conversations with me usually and in a bad way they usually and with no solution and no resolution 
 When I spoke with him today he said that he would talk to my mom about being released from her care in order for me to go out with my dad for the day I'm going to try to talk to my mom before he calls and ask her politely not to let me go out with him tomorrow. The stresses keep coming and I don't know what to do about them I don't want him to push me over the ads were created something that I don't want to agree to this is what I'm left with this is what I have to do.  My dad is very depressed in his own way unfortunately she can't see that other people are in their own ways this meaning influx of Of bipolar or manic depression. And this is what I have I have lived with bipolar for many years thankfully not through my childhood put most of my adult years ever heavily during colloegeq