I don't know if it is me or if I am really depressed or if I am letting my mind run away with me. But, I must have seemed very needy to my doctor on Friday, because she, after a while, and some pondering, gave me a prescription for Zoloft. This is something that is normally not prescribed to bipolar patients and I have had a bad reaction to it in the past. I told my mom about it because my doctor told me to ask her to kind of keep track of my emotions on it. Especially with this current depression. I think my mom got worried at that point. I know she told me not to take the medicine and while I was out of the hose she called my dad and told him about how worried she was. She told me that she thinks about my brother Luke, but she worries all the time about me. I am taking this as a bad thing. I shouldn't be worrying her. I need to get a job this summer and try to move out of the house and begin to support myself. Rebuild my credit and work harder towards graduation. I want to leave the huse on my terms, not be kicked out. And I don't want to live at home forever. I want to be independent, but I have forgotten how...
 
I need to pull some of my psychology on my self and work hard to get out of this mess.
 
Goodnight moon.