Here is another day. A Sunday. One of the days that I get so stressed and anxiety filled. I don't know where the week is going to take me, if it will be up or down or some other which way. I keep cutting myself as I think i mentioned last night. Skin is so easy to penetrate, especially with a very sharp knife. I wonder if it was heated if  it would cut me a bit easier then simply the blade. 
 
I posted in my Facebook wall that I was crashing and I needed to pull myself out of this shit. Then he texted me last night when I was with Rachael an I told him that. I don't know why lucas wants to get himself involved in all of this. He is too far away, my mom has some clue of whats going on and my dad has no clue of what is going on right now, I don't talk to him and he doesn't talk to mom either so the updates never get to him anymore. It's sad because I would like him to know what's happening, but I don't want him to get upset about anything.
 
I talked to Luke over the phone while I was driving Rachael home this morning. I knew he had tales to mom earlier this morning so I was expecting a phone call. 
 
I can't believe that I cut last night. I think I was frustrated, pissed and depressed and that made is feel a bit better. Now I can't even look at it and I dread taking a shower with cuts like that. I guess I'll have to live. I better go and get things ready. 
 
Goodnight moon.