I am not feeling right. I don't think that it is biological or medication based. I think that my feelings are simply shifted. I think a lot about my relationship with my father. It used to be a great relationship and now it has become diminished. I used to like to explore and learn from my father and now I can never find the time to even speak with him. And now when we do speak he is always angry, as if he only calls me to yell at me. I would love to cut myself off from him, but I still use cell phone service, health insurance and tuition, or at least one more semester according to him. 
 
It just makes me sad and my birthday is a week from tomorrow and I am unsure as to what is going to go on with that. My mom asked what I wanted to do for dinner, but my friends really haven't mentioned anything, which makes me sad because I have made a point to be in attendance at all of their birthdays and now I am not sure that they are going to want to do anything with me. I think that I may want to travel, use the train and go off to Glenwood Springs and hang by the pool. I am just not in the mood to do anything right now. I don't know if things will change over the week or what else may happen. I am going to go over it with my psychiatrist tomorrow when I have an appointment with her tomorrow. I think that maybe if my mom does not want to go to Glenwood Springs I may go alone, or if friends want to go I can consider driving. I don't know why I am thinking about this now I don't know what will happen.
 
Goodnight moon.