Today I went to Coor's Field to turn in my pay slip and when I did that I resigned my position there. I was just so unhappy and it took a great toll on my schoolwork. I'm going to tell my parents that they let me go because of too many hires, but in reality I let myself go from the only job that I have been able to land in a long long time. I'll put it under my resume, but never use it as a reference. I haven't talked to a therapist in a long time and I think that now may be a good time to get back in that game. I can't keep leaning these things on my mom and I don't like to keep them to myself either. 
 
I need to make sure that next semester is one of the best. I need great grades, letters of recommendation and work experience and then I can go work for a group that I will love. Or at lease start moving up the ladder. 
 
I'm just sad right now. Simply getting depressed as the day goes by. What's wrong with me? That's why suicide seems so logical, because there is nothing that is going to come as good from my life. Without this inheritance from Bocie I would not be getting anywhere. Now, that money is almost gone and it has not even been a year. This is scary stuff, you know. I only have $16,000 left and they way I spend it, it will go fast. I gotta go.
 
Goodnight moon.