I saw some photos of my freshman year in college this morning on a flash drive that I found. They make me kinda depressed. I was so thin and good looking and just happy. I was doing great socially and academically. This is why I keep trying to find what the trigger was to put me into this bipolar depression. It wasn't the people freshman year, it was me. I had no worries, not one. Even school work just came to me, I spent so much time socializing. Now its difficult to wake up in the morning and get all of my school work done. I end up not doing well on quizzes and exams and I even had to forfeit a 15% project because I was late with my hypothesis. It's ridiculous.
I'm tired. I want friends. I think that I am an introvert. I used to be so animated and social, I knew everyone and I loved to be with people, even if it meant sacrificing school work... but in the end everything seemed to workout and connect. Now I can't or I am too afraid to make new friends. I want what my parents have. Great friends that I can always call or be around. That I am not afraid to call upon.
Some how when I was booking flight reservations to go to Chicago for Bacia's funeral I booked flights with both American Airlines and Frontier Airlines. We flew frontier an i know I would have never booked flights with American. It's just bazaar. So I filed a dispute with visa and they are going to contact American air and see if the charge was submitted and if there is any way for full reimbursement. I am worried that American is going to say no and dad wont get his money back and if he doesn't I think that he is going to get pissed. So that is the worry on my shoulders.
My grandmother let me $37,000. I am going to use it to slowly pay off my debt while also using it to pay for my graduate school. I think that the money, which was distributed to me by my father, was a blessing and I feel that there are Earthly things that I no longer have to worry about. I should have the money by the end of the semester. I wish I could just start over with all of this money. But, I want that PhD, I want to be a clinical psychologist.
I moved back in with my mom again so I am getting used to that again. It's really odd being away from dad's house, he calls sometimes to see how I am doing. I think that's a nice gesture. I miss him and I think that he misses me to now that I am really gone. He told me that we will go out more now when we meet up. Like Sullivan's I love that place and their happy hour.
Well I am tired and when my mom goes to a job interview I am going to go to Arby's, Yay.
I'm tired. I want friends. I think that I am an introvert. I used to be so animated and social, I knew everyone and I loved to be with people, even if it meant sacrificing school work... but in the end everything seemed to workout and connect. Now I can't or I am too afraid to make new friends. I want what my parents have. Great friends that I can always call or be around. That I am not afraid to call upon.
Some how when I was booking flight reservations to go to Chicago for Bacia's funeral I booked flights with both American Airlines and Frontier Airlines. We flew frontier an i know I would have never booked flights with American. It's just bazaar. So I filed a dispute with visa and they are going to contact American air and see if the charge was submitted and if there is any way for full reimbursement. I am worried that American is going to say no and dad wont get his money back and if he doesn't I think that he is going to get pissed. So that is the worry on my shoulders.
My grandmother let me $37,000. I am going to use it to slowly pay off my debt while also using it to pay for my graduate school. I think that the money, which was distributed to me by my father, was a blessing and I feel that there are Earthly things that I no longer have to worry about. I should have the money by the end of the semester. I wish I could just start over with all of this money. But, I want that PhD, I want to be a clinical psychologist.
I moved back in with my mom again so I am getting used to that again. It's really odd being away from dad's house, he calls sometimes to see how I am doing. I think that's a nice gesture. I miss him and I think that he misses me to now that I am really gone. He told me that we will go out more now when we meet up. Like Sullivan's I love that place and their happy hour.
Well I am tired and when my mom goes to a job interview I am going to go to Arby's, Yay.
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