I am waiting to die. School is soon to be ending and I am giving up I have not been in one of my classes for a week and I will miss it again on Tuesday to work on a paper for another class. It's depressing because I constantly am thinking about suicide. Just a little while ago I took 6mg of xanax to simply knock me out. i bought some pot today for my sleep and my nausea and vomiting. I am depressed and know one realizes it. I just want to go, I am ready to go. with all suicides people tend to forget and move on with their lives. I want to write a suicide letter, but some many things happen each day that change me perspective on life.
I am scared because I have killed my credit by all of this bipolar spending. I just feel good spending money. And I hate that about me.
I have a homework assignment that is due on the 9th of December and it is my final paper. I need to begin on it, I have only started thinking about it an walking through superarkets. I think that this project is going to go over well. I have another final paper due on the 15th of Denver in my politics class, which will only be an analysis of the data which we received from the exit polling... which I fabricated my own 74 polls, so we'll see how that goes.
Sometimes I wonder how good con-artists do their work... i would love to do that and not get caught. Travel the word and live in luxury and wealth at least for a while. And maybe eventually disappear after a few years with my partner. Somewhere warm but with great air conditioning.
I am so sad I dont know what I am talking about. When is it time to kill myself? I looked though all of these cards that I had stored and they were only from family. None of my friends neither called or wrote... not even a text message. No one visited me and they didn't even call or visit after I was release (the four times that I was in hospitalized. What makes me upset it that I try to help them. During finals when Katie was having a hard time I sent her a gift basket and when Neida was going through a break up I sent a basket of chocolates. No one even calls, not even to say thank you. Only my entire family wrote me and visite with me. I hate this. I hate it. This is what makes me think about ending my life.
Goodnight moon.
I am scared because I have killed my credit by all of this bipolar spending. I just feel good spending money. And I hate that about me.
I have a homework assignment that is due on the 9th of December and it is my final paper. I need to begin on it, I have only started thinking about it an walking through superarkets. I think that this project is going to go over well. I have another final paper due on the 15th of Denver in my politics class, which will only be an analysis of the data which we received from the exit polling... which I fabricated my own 74 polls, so we'll see how that goes.
Sometimes I wonder how good con-artists do their work... i would love to do that and not get caught. Travel the word and live in luxury and wealth at least for a while. And maybe eventually disappear after a few years with my partner. Somewhere warm but with great air conditioning.
I am so sad I dont know what I am talking about. When is it time to kill myself? I looked though all of these cards that I had stored and they were only from family. None of my friends neither called or wrote... not even a text message. No one visited me and they didn't even call or visit after I was release (the four times that I was in hospitalized. What makes me upset it that I try to help them. During finals when Katie was having a hard time I sent her a gift basket and when Neida was going through a break up I sent a basket of chocolates. No one even calls, not even to say thank you. Only my entire family wrote me and visite with me. I hate this. I hate it. This is what makes me think about ending my life.
Goodnight moon.
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