Frustrated

Ok, so I tried the marijuana route and it didn't really work so I am not going to waste my money on that stuff. I am at my mom's house alone for the weekend and it feels like she is here but no one is here. I am afraid that I'll crash. I feel like I am falling apart. Last night I turned in both papers and skipped classes today. I know that I didn't put in my best for those two papers and it makes me upset. I know that I can do a rewrite in one class I am just not sure which one I just posted my blog which I think was due yesterday and I still have a lot of work to do this weekend to catch up with what I miss this week. Two short papers due in history about the readings, then watching MSNBC and writing a paper for that and whatever my Research Methods professor wants. I think a lot about suicide now, I don't know why but it just keep flaring up over and over throughout every day. What's wrong with me now? I am stocked with champaign for weekend. 
 
Goodnight moon.