I don't seem to write a lot any more. I think there may be too many things going on in life right now. I keep ditching class, just not going. I feel tired and lethargic towards life. There isn't anything to look forward to. I am still waiting to hear back from the woman at the Denver Public Schools. That's probably not a good thing. I am going to meet with my adviser today and attempt to figure out when I will be graduating. I hope its soon, I am tried of being here and I want to start in the work force. Still, every time I get down I think of suicide. Its the easiest way to get out, no pain no suffering I want have to take this anymore. The pressure is getting to me and the people around me don't understand how life changing this illness really is. I am unhappy with life but I show people that I am content. People don't know about my depression, suicidal attempts and other issues that are going on. I think that I am just forgotten lost or gone from the world. My old friends never call and my new friends seem to only see me as a partial friend, sometimes we go out and then we cut off communication and things are just weird. I don't enjoy being alone but there is some sense of security at home. I can't get hurt or get awkward there is something that comforts me there. Maybe it is because my parents are with me at home and they can both understand my illness and know how to deal with it and how hard to push it.
 
I am depressed. All I want to do is sleep. I slept all day yesterday and I don't know why I need to get back on my feet and off of this depression cycle. However, that is easier said than done, I have been trying to do that for over three years now. I have to read for class.
 
Goodnight moon.