Nothing

I am irritated. School begins on Monday and I still need to order my books. I haven't heard back from the manager at Starbucks and that is irritating. I am also becoming more depressed. I don't I don't know why, I just can't relax here my body wants to sleep and relax but I don't allow it that luxury here I feel as though I am always under watch and scrutiny.
 
I am having some suicidal thoughts. I think of how I may want to go and what I would say to the people in my life in the final days of my life here. Or how would everyone react to the the words that are here in my journal. I canceled my appointment with my new psychiatrist for today. I am just too exhausted to get to the hospital this morning. I am going to go make the bed and take a shower.