Things seem to be getting better. I gave Chi a ride to kholes today, even though she didn't buy anything. I am getting along more and more with Ti and his friends. I think that this week I am going to go to Durango with the family to see my brother Luke. While we are there I think that I am going to take up my brothers old car and use it here in Denver. My suicidal urges have gone down and I am beginning to stabilize even though I am still in a depressed mood. I try to keep that away from other people, but it comes out sometimes. I have 23 days to go of my actual summer and then I go in for a long haul with a lot of classes. I don't know how I will react to them, but I need to get through school. I need to get back on my feet and do as well as I was doing in high school. I was so successful and beautiful back then and even in the firs years of college I don't know what happened? This illness is horrible.