Things...

So things have gotten somewhat better and we are working as a family. At least for tonight. I'm glad about it too because I didn't want to fighting with my step mother all the time. I have gone back up on all of my meds and I now feel somewhat more stable, however I am still experiencing deep depression and high suicidal thoughts. I talked to my doctor and she moved some meds around and then increased my meds back to where they were. People keep telling me that bipolar disorder is not a cold it is an illness and just doesn't go away with some time on medications. Sometimes I need to take these medication for a life time. These are taking stable actions towards me and keeping me sane. 
 
I still have not told my mother and my father in my increasing debt. I am sure it's almost over $15,000 by now. That is more money than some make in a year. I feel so badly, but it was the bipolar actions. Same reasons that my bipolar actions make me so nervous, anxious and upset.
 
Tomorrow I hav no school because I dropped the only class I have on Mondays and Wednesdays. It'll be nice to have a day off. I'll do some homework and then maybe grab my dad's car and go get my cable fixed. I hope that my checks all clear tomorrow because I need to pay my bills. I was denied disability and I don't have the energy to appeal the decision. Maybe I will and finally get some financial support. I am anxious about the disability insurance and I want to get some help. I need some help. I have tried to get a job and I have had no luck in even getting a phone call or interview.
 
I have to go. I am going to watch a movie and each some ice cream with my wine. I hope someone comments on this for me.
 
Goodnight Moon.