So my suicidal thoughts are becoming strong. I need to see my doctor for medication. I went way down on my meds to try to beat this bipolar disorder. Now I know that bipolar is not a cold or a stomach bug it is an actual illness that needs constant care. I called my doctor a few minutes ago and I am hoping to hear from her in the morning. I need the medication again. I am having panic attacks and suicidal thoughts, insomnia and what not I don't want to write anymore so I am going to retire for the evening.