I used to be so excited on Christmas Eve. Though recently I have found that its getting more and more depressing. Maybe if I have children this event will become great once again. I cant understand what I am feeling. My mom is in Durango with my brother and my dad is with my step mom at some viet nameese christmas party.... though they don't celebrate christmas in that country. I am really agitated and confused as to what to do. It feels like I have always had my family all Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Dad better be around here in the next few days or I am really going to get pissed. I know he does not want to go to the party because he has nothing in common with them, especially the language. I am so tired all of the sudden and I have to go to bed! Goodnight moon.