See this is what I am talking about. I cleaned the oven the other day and there was soap scum left from the toxic cleaners. Tonight she got all upset because of it, if I didn't want to bake something in it she would have never noticed. I told her that I would clean it later this evening or tomorrow morning. Though, she had to take it upon herself to clean it herself and got upset when I told her that I was going to clean it at a later time and she got all upset and told me that she could not watch TV without cleaning it. Well fuck her, she can clean it if she wants to, she's the one that messes the thing up.  To end some of my questioning I asked my father if she had said she didn't want me around. He told me that she has never hinted at that and never would and added that I have a right to be here with my dad, he's my father and my family. After hearing this from my father I am having less thoughts of suicide and less panic attacks during the day.  My mother told me once that I should just stay away from her and worry about myself at this point. I need to grow I need to get through this enough so that I can get through this Spring semester. Chi is just on pins and needles as my dad tells me. I'm tired of this mess. I am over it. I am just going to let her do her thing and I'll do mine. Its still a big enough house to have our own space. good night moon