I can't believe that I am still at my mom's house, I want to go home, I want to go home to my dad's. I cant believe that my best friend is still no talking to me. I dont know what happened. I dream about and think about her often. She is obviously not a good friend if she is swayed stronger by her partner than another friend, especially one that had always been there for here. Now I need her and and she is not there for me. I have no real friends right now around me and it's sad. It is depressing that I have no one. I still contemplate suicide, simply because I have lost almost everything. I think the more that I talk about suicide the less it is likely that I am going to go through with it. However, I am on the thin ledge. I am tired of this, nothing is getting better.  Mom started crying and asked to talk to me about how I am hurting her feelings. I can't believe this because I am giving her everything that she wants and more, I know that it may hurt her that sometimes I am not too happy about delivering more and more to her room as she sits there and does nothing to learn drive or to get her own ice for her knee. These are things that she needs to begin to do. Occupational therapy. Get food, clean up, walk the dog, Do something so I can go home sooner. I am sure that she feels bad that I keep calling dad's house home as I have lived with her in the past. But I really do want to go. This day will mark two weeks absent from the museum, I hate to do that to them, but I have no choice. I can't leave my mother alone for so long. I am a compassionate person because I am still here, she has told me to go home in anger, but her should never survive without my help. Of course she could find some friends to help but she hates to ask and have then in house when she in sick.  I am going to go ask mom if I can break off for a movie at about noon for a coupe of hours. Wish me luck.