I want to have a wedding. I want to get married to someone who loves me. The only back lash is that we live in a country that denies homosexuals the right to get married. In some sates we get the ability to gain the legal rights and tax deductions. I want to know the the person that I am marring, I want to share secrets with them. Unfortunately, night after night I sit and watch movies on the couch drinking crazy expensive champaign, which right now I am out of and I don't feel like popping a new bottle, at least not until mimosas in the morning. I am sad that I am lonely right now. There was a guy from freshman year in college that had a crush on me and he lives here in Denver and we were communicating and we were going to meet up and then life happened for a couple of weeks and we didn't talk and now he has been seeing someone. And it is because of this stupid website connexion and i hate meeting people to date on the internet. URG. I am lonely and confused and I am tired, I want to go to bed but I cant for some reason, but I am going to go try. Oh and I keep cutting myself. I don't know how to stop there is something that simply draws me to cut myself again and again. Someone tell me what to do.