I have been out of the hospital for a while ow and I am somewhat sitll depressed. Some of it has gone away but yet most of it still lingers there. I don't know what to do about it but allow it to be medicated and treated by professionals. I am trying my hardest to, to bring it down but I am unsuccessful in my actions. But it is not al the depression that really upsets me but it is my anxiety. I don't know what to do with my self and my thoughts. They are taking are my life. I take xanax but I don't like to do that because of the dependancy that it costs. I a so tired I just know that I needed to write in my journal because my therapist didn't schedule out appointment today so I was out a psychotherapy appointment here. I cant believe that she would do that to me. But what does it matter? She is leaving in a few days to move to somewhere in california and I will never see here again. Ever. I just need a break but I cant get one. I am trying to find out the bus schedule and how I can get to school without driving. Well better get to that.