I am so confused now. I met with my tharapist eariler today and she thought that I needed to go back into the hospital. With as much suicidal ideation and homicidal dreams I suppose I should be in a controlled enviornment. I don't think that I am a risk to anyone but myself. I think about suicide often and I neglect to think about the positives in life, but ad it is right now it is extremely difficult to get this depression out of my head. I would like nothing better than to be happy and be able to complete my education, but I am hitting a road block with this mania and depression. I still, today, have no desire to live. Not for my family, not for anyone or anything. I dont know what is going to make me happy again. I really dont. My mother and I are going on a road trip tomorrow morning to see my brother in Durango. It was my idea and I think that it will be good for me to get away from the city. Not that the city isn't good. I just need to forget about all of the stressors in my life and I know that is impossible for me to do. My mom keeps telling me that I need to do more work to get myself out of this. I know that it is true, but it is harder than everyone thinks. I am trying myhardest to go one and I think that I am failing myself. I am so tired both physically and mentally. I dont know...I want to go on I want to finnish my education I want to be successful, but at the same time I feel as though I can live no longer. I have done what I needed too do in this lifetime and now it is time to turn over. It is just a matter of how...