I am back home from the hospital and I am still having suicidal ideation and extreme depression and anxiety. I am looking forward to seeing my psychiatrist and councilor tomorrow afternoon. One of my medications is Klonopin and I am currently taking 1 mg twice daily and it is not helping my anxiety at all. I am also taking Prozac, Lithium, Klonopin, Seroquel, Lamictal, and Xanax. I am a wreck and I don't know what to do anymore. I hope that some of the things can straighten out tomorrow with Dr. Davis. I don't know. Maybe I should have not left the hospital so early. I am leaving town on Tuesday to get out and relax and try to forget about some things.  My parents want me to drop out of school. But, I don't know what I would do if I can't go to school. Both of my parents want me to remove myself from my position in student government. They think that it is also a stress on me. In some cases I believe this to be true but, Student Government has always been a passion of mine. I know how it works and I know that it is my only link to some friendships that I have recently begun.  I just cant stop thinking about school and what I am going to do. I don't know. I need my education. I love my education. It it like an itch that I can't scratch. I pace in my room and make myself throw up, I take extremely hot showers... anything to keep harming myself.  Depression is such a messy thing I don't understand why me? This makes me so upset. I think that it is going to take me a lot of time to get over this. I just need help. I hope I can get it.