Sometime I don't trust myself with myself. I feel inadequate to others around me. Others preach their ways of living and not being depressed or anxious, but I cannot follow the rules of others. I must create myself. I must have a rebirth. But if it is this painful to recreate myself then why do it? I can be anyone and do anything that I want to and yet I sit here afraid to go out and find myself. I need myself more than ever. I am so lonely.  Why don't I trust myself? I don't understand life. I don't understand its meaning or it's beauty. There is so much suffering everywhere else why, in that case, am I suffering? Does the suffering of a minor in Uganda even equate to me? Can we logically put ourselves in the place of others? No. I can't give in. I am better and I am stronger than what I used to be. I have such a thirst for life, yet at the same time I want to end it. I wish I could feel free of this pain... that's my only wish... as I sit here sobbing.