Today my anxiety level is higher than most. I had a pretty intense panic attack this morning and my mom had to comfort me. I went out with my dad today. we looked at houses around the Denver area and then when we were tired of the we went to the IMAX theatre and saw The Alps. It was pretty good. I still feel really uncomfortable with Ti and Chi around dad and I. They are like different parts of us, they stay away an only talk to each other, never to me and/or dad. I think that, that may be a source of my anxiety and depression, but I think that it is a minimal force of what I am suffering. I think that my suffering come from much deeper than that. I cant focus there because it only depresses me more. But, when I am with them it is all I can think about. I get really depressed and then I cant show it. It would break my father's heart, because he believes that this is his new family and I am a new part of the family. How can I be a part of a family that I cant even speak to. The only one I can relate to is my father. They are moving up here to Denver and that makes me feel nervous because I am going to be expected to spend more time with these... strangers. I suppose that I should just let it go and accept what reality has given me. I am looking forward to Monday because I will be back in the program. I feel somewhat safe there. I home that tomorrow I will see my psychiatrist.  She has a different diagnosis than everyone else I have seen. I have really put some work into this program and I hope some things will come out of this.