I don't think that it is possible for my parents to civilly interact with each other, especially in the sector of money. Whether they try to or not they always put me in the middle of the debate. This has come clear now that we are trying to figure out who is going to pay for what in my medical pool. There are some hefty charges and I know that they don't want to claim some of them. I don't know what to do. It gives me panic attacks... at least that it was I think is triggering them. I cry a lot behind closed doors. My mom told me that when she sees me in pain that she feels it too and I don't want to put her through the pain that I am going through. It's unneeded, so I just do it where they are not looking. I am really scared. These bills are under my name and if they go unpaid I get the shit for it in the long run.I am breaking my own heart as the feeling to not want to continue to live thrives in my mind.  The temptation to cut myself again follows me everywhere. I have a feeling of hate for myself. I cant look in the mirror. I have gotten fat from the pills and my face is braking out. I don't want to be here anymore. Where is this life going? What is left for me? I am sure that my mom will get fed-up with me and I will have to get an apartment and then I will be alone. Just me and school. I don't think that I have the drive to run again student government. This semester I am taking one art class online. At least it is required for the completion of my degree. This is depressing. My life has just taken a turn for the worst.