Things are not good. Since when do I feel uncomfortable in my mom's house? As if it is a stranger's house and you're afraid to sit somewhere or touch something... afraid to hardly move, and god forbid you go looking through the cabinets for food. I am truly afraid of my mother. It is almost like I am back in middle school... if I am not home by a certain time there will be consequences. She watches every move that I make, it freaks me out.When I first came to live with her, when all of this was happening, my mom was willing and happy to help me get better and she wanted to be with me and help me get through this.  Now it seems as though she doesn't care. As long as I am at home then... hey I must be OK. I am so confused as to where I should be. I don't Know where home is anymore! PLEASE HELP ME!My urges to cut myself for the relief of pain and death are increasing dramatically. Al of my intentions upon killing myself have intensified dramatically. I have no one I am completely alone. As I've seen my mother is completely self-sufficient and does not need me, my brother is a growing young man who has a life to live of his own and he doesn't need to be worrying about me, and my father has a new family and will be purchasing a new home in Denver for all of them soon, he has no need me.   I have not contributed to the world and communities around me. I think that is something great, but I don't think that it is something I am going to do. I am worthless to myself and I am worthless to the world around me. There is not one reason to stay. I am trying to register for classes right now and it is a nightmare. I think that it is time for the hospital again.  I just yelled at my mom. I thin that got the message through to her. I told her about the pain that I suffer on a daily basis that she will never understand.  I don't know what wil come of it, maybe something, maybe not. Time will tell.