In my office again wishinglife was away. Today there are a ton of people in the office because ofthe funding process. I wish everyone would just go away. i dont want to be here and I a shaking. I have another meeting this eveing but I think that I am going to have to miss that one. I am not feeling well enough to go. Today started great I felt wonderful. Now I feel like shit. I think that it may be the people aroundme but I dont know. I am so sad and i feel exrodinarilly lost. I know that I want to do student government, but if there was something better I would take it in a second. So what do I do? I am keeping this position as of now, but later something better may  come alone. Who knows?Who knows what is going to come of the fute with me. I cange too much and that is the way my person is. I like to change. But i am scared. On Saturday my aunt and two cousins are coming in ot see me and I am really getting stressed about this. Do I have to act a certain way around them? Do they expect something? I am just nervous...I am just going to keep breathing and look forward to the visit. I wish the daywould have been good the entire time, not ust in the eariler part. I am sad and lonely ow , depressed. I dont know what to do. Please someone tell me this pain will stop!