Yesterday I had a great day! I don't know why...it just worked out to be that way. Today I feel off. I am hot and cold a lot. I  am cleaning a lot today, there is a lot to get done! I feel good however. Maybe the medications are finally beginning to work. I enjoy the fact that I can be somewhat happy now sometimes. Though still I get these scary suicidal thoughts and some of them I want to act on but then I just cal someone like my brother. I love my mom and dad and brother so much they have really helped me get through this. My Cousins and aunts are coming in for a visit it support me and I think that is so cool. But I am freaking out because I feel like I need to put up an act or they wont believe I am sick. I don't know where these feelings come from. They are bazar. I wish my brother could come up too! Well I am going to go clean I will be on later! Hope to hear from some of you!