I broke down and had an anxiety attack in front of my mom againg this evening. We went to see a movie and that was it. I am so sad. I don know that I am supposed to be doing here. I am worthless thesedays and i feel like I want to just dissappear. The medications are helping so much, however, I stil have so many anxious thoughts running through my mind constantly. Then when crossing th street I hope for a car to hit me and if not die, become extremely hurt. I am not sure what to do about my thoughts of harm and death. I am tring to cope with this as much as possible but it is not working. I am so depressed, but when I am around people I give them a simple smile and act as though everything id alright, so noone knows.I am anxious that I am faking this. Maybe it is becasue themeds are working and I am feeling somewhat better. But still where has all of this come from why cant I stip worrying that I am faking my illness?