Tonight I found that it is going to be very difficult to vomit here at my mother’s house. It is like going through rehab. I am not doing so well. My mom and I talked about my suicidal thoughts tonight and I was really emotional it is hard to talk about these things to very close family members, but it is needed and it is coming easier than I thought it would.I haven't talked to my dad since last night when I called him and had a breakdown. I wonder if he is worrying about me? I am going to call him tomorrow after my doctor's appointment.The Xanax is working for the concentration on my schoolwork and my reading but as far as the anxiety of life itself I am not feeling a very vivid effect. I am going to try to go to bed early tonight so I can get a good start tomorrow, but we'll see how that goes.My mom bought me a new white shag rug and some other things for my room so I would feel better here and maybe more "at home" since this is a new house and not the one I grew up in.I see the doctor tomorrow and that excites me. I can't wait to get closer to the solution of my problem. I trust my doctor very much so i think that the solution she proposes I can trust and feel comfortable with. I was excited tonight because Caleb (my boyfriend) came to my house and watched TV and ate some food with my mom and me. I felt really comfortable and relaxed. I think that the relationship will be safe through what ever I am going through.I must sleep now, I love you all have a great morning, I hope to do the same.