I am at my mom's house now. I feel badly that I seem to be invading her space but I know that she loves me being here. I am so excited that I feel more relaxed. I don’t know if that is an attribute of being home or if it is the fact that I am taking Xanax. I suppose both can have a good amount of pull on my wellbeing.I took my sleeping aide a while ago and I think that it is kicking in now. I am so tired. My boyfriend is in the dorms where I used to live and now I am at home. The two are not far from each other at all, but for some reason I am so anxious that our relationship is going to diminish because of my move to my mother's house. I hope to be back there soon to be with him and with my friends, but he is the only one I want to see. So how do I see him? I don’t want this to make us separate. We have truly come together in the recent months and I am so excited to be with him. I hope that our relationship will continue to be as strong as it has in the recent past. Today I made myself vomit twice and I ate a large amount of food at my mom's house and I wanted to vomit so badly. However, she was there and I felt uncomfortable doing it around her. She is in bed now and I could do it now, but the food is so digested that it would not only take a long time but a great deal of effort to execute. I suppose I can see this as progression as I am now eating evening meals without vomiting.I didn't do much homework today; that concerns me. I tried to and for the short while I accomplished a great deal. I was in my office though and there are bound to be distractions while trying to work in the office. Tomorrow is a long day at the office and i think that I will be able to get a lot more work don when I close my office door. For me that was always hard in the past, closing the door seems like something privet and sinister may be going on in the office. On that matter whenever someone else closes their door in the office I feel so scared that I am the one that they are talking about. My mind runs even fasted than usual and I am about to explode. Sometimes i will go talk to someone and become really loud so they know that I am there waiting until they come out of the office. I don’t know what this is all about but it makes the energy and the feeling of the office very weird. The thoughts of running away keep moving through my mind. I want to leave Denver and start something new. I want to go to the East and feel what a new life would feel like. I don’t know why I want to leave because I have accomplished too much here and i can’t leave everything I have done for something completely blank.I need to go call my boyfriend and talk to him about this anxiety I have towards loosing him. I think that is the last thing that I would want to happen. If that was to happen I think that I would fall even more depressed. He is one of the only people I hold confidence in. I really love him and I think that we could be together for a long time. I never expect us to split up.